Preparing for a Doctor's Appointment With an Older Adult

A short appointment goes much further when everyone arrives prepared: a list of concerns in order of importance, the current medicines, and the right papers. If you're going with an older parent or relative, your job is to support the conversation, not to run it. This guide covers what to do before, during and after, with a checklist you can print.

First, agree your role

Before the visit, ask your parent what they want from you. The US National Institute on Aging (NIA)↗ (opens in a new tab) notes that sometimes all a person needs is a ride, and other times they want you in the room to help talk with the doctor.

Some people want help remembering questions. Others want someone to take notes, or to explain things afterwards. Many want time alone with the doctor for part of the visit. NIA recommends respecting that and leaving the room when asked.

Consent and privacy

Your parent's health information is theirs. At the appointment, they can simply tell the doctor they're happy for you to be there and for information to be shared with you. If you'll need to speak with the doctor or hospital when your parent isn't present, ask the clinic what consent or authorisation they need. Requirements vary, so don't assume.

Before the appointment

Make a list of concerns, most important first. NIA suggests ranking them↗ (opens in a new tab) and raising the most important ones at the start, not saving them for the end. Include anything your parent has noticed since the last visit. NIA specifically mentions changes in appetite, weight, sleep or energy, any emergency or specialist visits, and any changes in medicines or their effects.

Bring the medicines information. NIA notes that some doctors like patients to bring everything they take (prescriptions, over-the-counter medicines, vitamins and herbal remedies or supplements) in a bag. Others prefer a list with doses. Our guide to keeping an up-to-date medication list explains what to record.

Gather the papers. Recent reports and prescriptions, discharge summaries, the names and numbers of other doctors your parent sees, and any insurance or health scheme card.

Check glasses and hearing aids. NIA recommends bringing eyeglasses and making sure a hearing aid is working and worn. It's fine to tell the doctor, "It helps if you speak slowly and face me."

Think about language. If your parent is more comfortable in Kannada, Tamil, Hindi or another language, ask the clinic in advance whether someone can help, or agree that you'll interpret, while being careful to pass on exactly what's said.

During the appointment

NIA offers several tips for companions:

• Let your parent answer the doctor's questions unless they've asked you to step in.
• Avoid a two-way conversation between you and the doctor. Keep your parent included.
• Work through your list, starting with the most important questions.
• Take notes on what the doctor recommends, so you can both remember it later and share it with other family members.

Good questions to have ready:

• What is the main thing we should understand from today?
• Is there anything we should watch for, and when should we call or come back?
• If a new medicine is prescribed: what is it for, how and when should it be taken, and what side effects should we look out for? NIA's list of questions for doctors and pharmacists↗ (opens in a new tab) covers this in detail.
• Is any test needed? When and where, and how will we get the results?
• When is the next visit?

After the appointment

• Go over the notes together while they're fresh, and check you both understood the same thing.
• Update the medication list if anything changed, and write the date next to it.
• Ask for written information if it's available. NIA suggests this, along with asking about community resources if needed.
• Share what's needed with family, with your parent's agreement.
• Book follow-ups and add them to the weekly care schedule.

If you live in another city, NIA suggests asking the doctor how you can stay informed, with the person's permission.

Printable appointment checklist

Print this guide and checklist