Caring for Elderly Parents in India From Abroad: Where to Start

If you live abroad and your parents are in India, you can still do a great deal: much of caregiving is organising, paying, booking, checking and talking. What you can't do from abroad is be there within the hour. A good plan uses both facts. You handle what can be done remotely, and you make sure someone nearby can step in.

This guide covers where to start. The other guides for families abroad go deeper on emergencies, help at home and visits.

Start with a conversation, not a plan

Before you arrange anything, ask your parents what they want. They may be managing well and value their independence. Or they may be quietly struggling but not want to worry you when you're so far away.

Useful questions for your next call:

• What's become harder in the last year?
• What would make day-to-day life easier?
• Who would you call first if you felt unwell at night?
• Is there anything you'd like us to take off your hands, such as bills, bookings or paperwork?

The US National Institute on Aging (NIA)↗ (opens in a new tab) suggests raising concerns without sounding critical, then offering specific, practical help that fits the person's wishes. For example: "Would you like me to set up a regular grocery delivery?"

What you can do from abroad

NIA describes a long-distance caregiver's possible roles↗ (opens in a new tab). Translated to a family with parents in India, they include:

• Money and paperwork: paying utility bills online, tracking insurance renewals, keeping copies of documents.
• Arranging help: finding and paying for a cook, attendant or home nurse, and checking that it's working. See arranging help at home from another country.
• Ordering supplies: medicines, groceries and equipment such as a walker or grab bars, delivered to the door.
• Coordinating information: keeping track of doctors, appointments, prescriptions and test results, with your parents' permission.
• Researching options: comparing home-care agencies, day care, or living arrangements if needs change.

Set up four foundations

1. A local contact

Someone needs to be able to reach your parents' home quickly: a sibling or relative in the same city, a trusted neighbour, or a paid helper who comes daily. Agree with them, explicitly, that they're the first person to call. Make sure they have a key, or know who does.

If siblings share the load, NIA suggests naming one primary caregiver↗ (opens in a new tab) and dividing other tasks by what each person does best. Our guide to how siblings can coordinate care has a responsibility matrix you can copy.

2. An emergency plan

Write down who acts first, which hospital your parents prefer, how bills will be paid in an emergency, and how you'll be reached across time zones. In India, 112 is the national emergency number for police, fire and health services. Our emergency plan for when you live abroad walks through it step by step, and the emergency information sheet puts the essentials on one page.

3. Documents and health records

Gather the important papers (identity documents, bank and pension details, insurance, property papers, prescriptions and recent reports), and agree where originals are kept and who can find them.

Digital copies help a lot when you're far away. The Government of India's DigiLocker can store documents. According to a 2022 government release↗ (opens in a new tab), DigiLocker can also act as a health locker linked to an Ayushman Bharat Health Account (ABHA), so records such as prescriptions, lab reports and discharge summaries can be stored and shared with consent. Set these up together on a visit, on your parents' phone, so they stay in control.

Keep an up-to-date medication list too, and a photo of it on your own phone.

4. A rhythm for staying in touch

NIA suggests a shared, regularly updated list of important phone numbers and a shared calendar for everyone involved, and joining telehealth appointments with permission. In practice:

• A regular call time that suits both time zones, so a missed call stands out.
• A shared family note or group with key numbers, appointments and who is doing what.
• Help with the phone, such as video calls, large text and emergency contacts on the lock screen. NIA suggests helping the older person learn their phone's features.

Permissions and consent

Hospitals and banks protect your parents' information, as they should. NIA notes that, in the US, you need written permission to receive someone's medical information unless they're with you and able to consent. Rules in India differ, but the principle is the same: ask each hospital, clinic and bank what they need for your parents to authorise you or a sibling, and set it up while everyone is well.

For bigger decisions, such as letting a family member act on your parents' behalf for money or property, talk to a lawyer in India. A power of attorney is a significant legal document and should be set up with proper advice, not from a template.

Watch for signs that more help is needed

A cheerful phone call can hide a lot. NIA lists signs that an older person may need extra support, including significant weight change, poor hygiene, confusion, falls, loneliness and trouble getting around. It also suggests that, with your parents' permission, you ask neighbours, friends, doctors or local relatives to call you if they notice anything.

Visits are the best time to see the full picture. Our checklist for your visit home covers what to look at and sort out while you're there.

Look after yourself too

NIA notes that long-distance caregivers often feel guilty about not being closer, and worry about travel, work and money. That's common. Focus on what you can do well from where you are, share the load with siblings, and support whoever is doing the day-to-day work locally. They need you too.